Is 40 actually the brand new 20?
Okay possibly not, however as I get able to rejoice my forty sixth birthday this week, I contend that there IS undoubtedly a complete lot of life left after 40.
In truth, I feel I’d even go as far as to say that is my favourite decade up to now!
And so in celebration of my birthday and hopefully getting old gracefully, I assumed at this time I’d share a number of of my favourite issues about life in my 40s—the issues that truthfully have shocked me.
Are you able to create the last word 12-month blueprint for reaching your well being & weight reduction targets this coming yr?
Our free on-demand video coaching will stroll you thru the best way to make 2024 THE yr you set well being targets…and hold them.
And whether or not you’re in your 40’s, 50’s, or past, I’ll be curious to know whether or not you agree.
So, with out additional ado–listed below are the 5 shocking issues I LOVE about being in my 40s.
I now not care what different individuals consider me.
The primary massive factor is that I’ve just about stopped giving a—nicely, we’ll say—crap about what anybody else thinks of me.
And that’s really a reasonably large deal.
And it’s not that I’ve ever thought-about myself a complete individuals pleaser, however I feel all of us have a bit of bit—or possibly loads—of insecurity relating to being round individuals and particularly being round different ladies.
I’ve all the time been fairly pushed and fairly outspoken and in addition sharp and witty and sarcastic. I’m additionally only a pure chief.
However after I would get round different ladies that possibly weren’t fairly as pushed or outspoken, I’d attempt to tone it down. Principally I’d attempt to mood my character to suit the social state of affairs, I feel as a result of I used to be usually afraid to be absolutely ME.
I fearful about becoming in and never offending individuals.
And truthfully I feel that worry or that fear even translated to how I confirmed up in my enterprise. For a very long time, truthfully for years, I felt like I needed to maintain part of me again. I used to be afraid to talk my thoughts or get too controversial or to say something that may offend somebody.
In truth, I feel for a very long time that was why I struggled a lot with social media. I by no means knew what to say as a result of I didn’t actually really feel like I might absolutely be myself. What if I used to be an excessive amount of?
And I don’t actually really feel like I do this anymore.
As I’ve gotten older, I feel truthfully I’ve stopped caring a lot about different individuals’s opinions and what they consider me. I’m a lot extra prepared now than I ever have been to simply let the chips fall the place they might.
I’m not for everybody, and that’s okay.
And let me let you know…it feels SO GOOD. I do know who I’m and what I like and don’t like, and I don’t really feel like I’ve obtained to show myself or change myself to slot in or be accepted.
In order that’s the primary massive factor that’s actually shocked me about getting older—I’ve lastly stopped caring a lot about what different individuals suppose.
I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin.
The second massive factor that has shocked me about getting older is that I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin than I’ve ever been earlier than.
And it’s kind-of odd after I give it some thought, as a result of after I look again at photographs of myself at 20 or 25, I used to be so cute and tan and skinny and but SO insecure about myself and my physique.
And sure, shedding 40 kilos undoubtedly helped me really feel much more assured, however my 45 yr previous physique nonetheless appears to be like like a forty five yr previous physique.
I’ve obtained varicose veins and cellulite and stretch marks. Daily I discover a number of extra grey hairs. I’ve wrinkles and age spots and snicker traces and boobs which can be beginning to sag just a bit.
However these issues truthfully don’t hassle me.
I like my physique proper now, simply the best way it’s, and after fighting my weight for thus lengthy, it kinda feels wonderful to be at this level.
I dance round bare for my husband, which I NEVER would have finished earlier than, and inform him on daily basis how fortunate he’s to have such a scorching spouse.
And once more, objectively I don’t suppose it’s as a result of I’m really hotter now than once we first met, however my CONFIDENCE is what has made me extra enticing.
I feel possibly it’s as a result of as you grow old, you acquire knowledge and perspective, and also you begin to understand that your flaws and scars are simply a part of who you might be.
They’re a part of your story and so they’re what makes you distinctive and attention-grabbing.
However that’s the second massive factor that has shocked me—how rather more assured I’m in my very own pores and skin.
My children are a lot extra self-sufficient
The third factor that has shocked me is how a lot I like this subsequent section of parenting, the place my children are older and extra impartial and self-sufficient.
And whereas youngsters—particularly teenage GIRLS—undoubtedly have their moments, this stage of parenting has really been much more enjoyable than I assumed it could be.
I all the time thought it could make me unhappy to look at my children develop up, however truthfully it doesn’t make me unhappy. It’s been so enjoyable to look at my women develop into turning into their very own individuals.
They’re nonetheless at dwelling for a number of extra years, however now they’re driving themselves locations and taking accountability for their very own homework and don’t require a babysitter once we need to exit—and even when my husband and I need to go away for the weekend.
And that’s really an enormous deal as a result of residing right here in Florida, we by no means actually had any household round whereas we have been elevating our youngsters, and good babysitters are arduous to search out.
I bear in mind so a few years after they have been youthful the place we felt overwhelmed by the neediness. And now I’ve staff who’ve younger children and it makes me bear in mind simply how exhausting that section of life is, and I don’t actually miss it.
And don’t get me mistaken, I really LOVE children and I’m SO excited for grandkids in a number of years, as a result of I’m going to be SUCH a kick-ass grandma, however I’m additionally not unhappy that in only a couple extra years my husband and I will probably be empty nesters and we get to look at our youngsters go navigate the world on their very own.
In order that’s the third factor that has shocked me—how a lot I like having self-sufficient children.
I’ve manner extra enjoyable.
The fourth factor that has DEFINITELY shocked me is that I’m having WAY extra enjoyable in my 40s than I ever did in my 20’s or 30s.
And possibly this is because of the truth that my children are far more impartial, or possibly it’s as a result of I’m extra assured and cozy in my very own pores and skin, however I additionally suppose it’s as a result of in my 20’s and 30’s I used to be extra targeted on getting married and beginning a household after which rising my enterprise.
However I’ve by no means had extra enjoyable than I’m having now, at this section in my life.
I feel a part of it’s that I simply don’t take myself as severely as I used to. Once more, possibly that’s the rise in confidence or simply being much more prepared to be myself and never feeling like I have to impress anybody.
However I feel an enormous a part of it is also that over the previous few years, my husband and I’ve gotten much more intentional about making a shared imaginative and prescient for our life collectively, and for what we wish our life to seem like.
And that undoubtedly wasn’t all the time the case. We weren’t all the time completely on the identical web page. I used to be tremendous busy making an attempt to develop my enterprise and do all of the issues and be all of the locations. I had my very own targets, however they weren’t actually shared targets. And that generally put us at odds.
If I’m being trustworthy, generally it felt like we have been residing completely different lives.
However throughout COVID loads of that modified.
I all of the sudden stopped touring and I used to be dwelling on a regular basis, and we began doing much more issues collectively. We reconnected as a pair and we additionally began making extra native buddies in our personal neighborhood. We additionally discovered a brand new church and started rising spiritually collectively as nicely.
And we began having extra conversations about we really wished for our life collectively.
And possibly it has nothing to do with covid, possibly it’s only a pure factor that occurs as your children grow old and get nearer to depart the nest, and you must come to grips with the truth that in some unspecified time in the future it’s going to be simply the 2 of you, and also you’ve both obtained to be in it for the lengthy haul otherwise you’ve obtained to go your separate methods.
For us, it was determining the best way to create a shared imaginative and prescient for our life.
So we really wrote all of it out—what we wish our life to seem like. We realized that we wish a house the place individuals can collect—a spot the place everybody feels welcome.
And we additionally realized that this imaginative and prescient didn’t need to be one thing we waited for. We might begin inviting individuals to collect immediately.
And so we do. On a regular basis. Even when our life is loopy making an attempt to maintain up with our youngsters’ sports activities schedules and work and all the home initiatives we have now happening.
We don’t fear if our home is tidy, or if all the things appears to be like excellent. We don’t fear if all the things is all pulled collectively and exquisite. Typically it’s not. In truth normally it’s not.
Don’t get me mistaken, I like planning an excellent get together, however I don’t WAIT till all the things is ideal to ask individuals in. Actually nowadays we’re normally a complete shitshow and our home is a catastrophe.
However there may be not often a weekend the place we don’t invite individuals over, or the place we’re not gathering with buddies, even when it’s simply to have a bonfire within the again discipline or play pool in our yet-to-be-renovated recreation room.
As a result of what I’ve realized at this stage of life is that nobody cares how excellent it’s.
Once I was youthful I’d get so caught up within the particulars that I’d overlook that the entire level of gathering is to CONNECT.
And in order that’s what we do. And it’s loads of enjoyable.
In order that’s the fourth shock.
I’m far more conscious of my very own mortality.
The fifth shock is simply how rather more conscious I’m of my very own mortality.
And possibly this doesn’t sound like an excellent factor, however I really suppose it’s. So hear me out.
It’s not like I’m always fearful about dying or something, it’s extra that I’ve a palpable consciousness of the fragility of life and the preciousness of time.
I feel if you’re youthful, you suppose you’ve gotten on a regular basis on the earth. You place issues off since you assume there’ll all the time be a tomorrow or subsequent week or subsequent month.
However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen that tomorrow isn’t assured. And so in a normal sense, I feel it’s made me extra intentional about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and what I’m doing with my life.
I don’t suppose I take practically as a lot with no consideration anymore—whether or not it’s my well being, my household, my buddies, or simply the little moments all through the day—as a result of I do know that it might all be gone in a heartbeat.
I don’t need to have any regrets. I need to dwell absolutely and take advantage of on daily basis that I’ve.
So I’m extra prepared to take dangers, to strive new issues, and to not let worry maintain me again.
As a result of on the finish of the day, what’s the worst that may occur? All of us die ultimately in any case. Would possibly as nicely take advantage of the time we have now.
And that’s been a shocking and releasing mindset to have. It has helped me let go of perfectionism and comparability, and simply deal with residing my life in a significant manner.
So whereas there could also be extra wrinkles and grey hairs than I’d like, getting older has additionally introduced some surprising joys and classes. And I’m excited to see what else this subsequent section of life has in retailer. It doesn’t matter what, I’m certain it will likely be one wild and loopy trip.
In order that’s my checklist—the 5 shocking issues I like about being in my 40s!
And I’m certain you possibly can relate to some, if not all of them, however truthfully I’d love to listen to again from you on this! Do you like this midlife section of life too, whether or not it’s your 40’s, 50’s or past?
If that’s the case WHY?
Depart a remark beneath and let me know what you suppose!
