No One Like Me | Lion’s Roar

Query: I lately moved to a Buddhist retreat middle the place I’m just about the one individual of colour. I knew that entering into, but it surely’s been harder than I anticipated. I really like the follow and don’t wish to depart, however I really feel uncomfortable and miss my very own individuals and tradition. What do I do?

Reply: I’ve one query: what do you want? It appears like this house could also be psychically violent for you. To be marginalized in areas like these means you might be doing rather more emotional labor than others merely to remain within the house. Then, your principal follow turns into negotiating the centering of whiteness and making an attempt to outlive that so you’ll be able to then do the precise dharma follow you got here to do.

There are individuals of colour who survive areas the place they’re marginalized. I’m a type of.

So in connecting with what you want, chances are you’ll come to the conclusion that your largest want is to not work so onerous to simply be within the room. Integrating house is solely the burden of the marginalized and the under-represented, and dealing so onerous at that stage might not be conducive to the fruition of your dharma follow. It could additionally foster a eager for your individuals and your tradition, which may also disrupt your follow. Furthermore, this further emotional labor could ultimately result in emotional burnout.

Determining what you want is an expression of compassion for your self, which you have to on this scenario. You could even uncover that what you in the end want is to depart this specific neighborhood. There are individuals of colour who survive areas the place they’re marginalized. I’m a type of. It has taken a deep grounding in compassion and love for myself, and in addition deep compassion for others round me. It has additionally taken stable methods of self-preservation. Till you’ll be able to do that, then this example could also be detrimental for you. So join with what you want in an effort to follow at your highest stage, and see what solutions come up from specializing in your self.

Lama Rod Owens

Lama Rod Owens is a Buddhist minister, creator, activist, yoga teacher and licensed Lama, or Buddhist instructor, within the Kagyu College of Tibetan Buddhism and is taken into account one of many leaders of his technology of Buddhist lecturers. He holds a Grasp of Divinity diploma in Buddhist Research from Harvard Divinity College and is a co-author of Radical Dharma: Speaking Race, Love and Liberation. Owens is the co-founder of Bhumisparsha, a Buddhist tantric follow and research neighborhood. Has been revealed in Buddhadharma, Lion’s Roar, Tricycle and The Harvard Divinity Bulletin, and gives talks, retreats and workshops in additional than seven international locations.