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Friday, September 20, 2024

Equanimity Amidst Chaos – Deconstructing Your self


Guided Nondual Meditation with Michael Taft

Streamed reside on Feb 17, 2022

Introduction: The Chaos Begins

Effectively my hair’s tousled and the web is tousled and every thing’s tousled and but right here we go! We’re reside and we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do it tousled. So, hopefully your life is much less chaotic than mine is in the meanwhile, simply this afternoon. However possibly it’s not, possibly you’re feeling chaos too and we’re gonna work with that, proper? That’s all effective. Let me simply see if I can get this video set somewhat bit extra the best way I would like it to be and we’ll work from there.

All proper, so no matter type of being you might be, if you happen to’re watching this you’re in all probability in a sentient being of some kind in a single samsara or one other and so chaos and upset and issues not being the best way you need them to be; issues being possibly the best way you need them to be, however now you’re anxious about hanging on to them the best way you need them to be… and so forth. 

You recognize stuff occurs, and as you already know a giant a part of this manner that we’re studying right here, the best way that I’m presenting meditation teachings, is that we’re noticing our already present Buddhahood, our liberated points. And it’s humorous you already know, as a trainer I speak to folks, a lot of folks, day-after-day about their meditation observe, day-after-day for many years now, proper? An extended, very long time. And one of many major issues I hear with people who find themselves good at meditation is, like, “I… every thing’s going good however I feel I’m going to again up and work on my focus. I wish to work on my focus to get issues extra secure.” And naturally, it is a excellent factor.

Focus is nice, it actually helps and that temper of like, “I’m gonna return to fundamentals and get my focus collectively,” that’s an excellent temper – nothing fallacious with that. However as you possibly can guess I’m going to say, however, however really it won’t be a very powerful factor. It won’t be a very powerful factor. What’s a very powerful factor? Effectively, focus is essential, however what’s much more essential? Effectively, we would say love or caring and kindness and compassion, and that’s true. That’s at the least equally essential to focus and but even love and compassion and kindness; we might discuss that as having a facet of equanimity in it, and that’s what I might say is much more essential than getting your focus collectively is getting your equanimity collectively.

So tonight we’re going to work on equanimity, okay? As a result of it, you already know, if you concentrate on what you may want out of your observe one of many major issues folks need is, you already know, for all the issues to go away. However guess what? That is samsara, so so long as you’re in a physique, so long as you might be right here issues by no means go away. It’s not such as you’re going to succeed in some place the place you by no means get sick and the world isn’t fucked up and your hair isn’t tousled and you already know issues are out of order and every thing’s breaking. That’s simply the character of this place and regardless of how awake you get, regardless of how liberated, it stays that manner as a result of that’s the character of this place; that is the saha world, that is what it’s like. And so even your totally liberated Buddha-self doesn’t change that, however what it does change is the way you relate to it and the way you relate if you relate to it in a sure manner of openness; in a sure manner of feeling like every thing’s okay whilst screwed up as it’s. And also you’re not checked out, you’re not checked out into some type of dissociative state, or bypassing however somewhat you’re actually with the stuff, understanding how screwed up it’s, understanding how chaotic it’s, understanding how tousled your hair is, or no matter, you’re completely clear about that and but you’re okay with it. That’s referred to as equanimity, proper? 

And give it some thought. Would you somewhat have the flexibility to pay attention rather well or the flexibility that, it doesn’t matter what occurs, regardless of how screwed up every thing will get, you could be—even when your feelings are screwed up—even if you’re stuffed with rage or despair or no matter, the deepest a part of you is simply okay? Every thing’s okay. Would you somewhat have that or would you somewhat have good focus? I might go for the primary one, proper? That’s equanimity, that’s like the true Buddha nature coming ahead, proper?  I can work with this, there’s sufficient room, there’s sufficient area, there’s sufficient love, there’s sufficient compassion. That every thing’s okay, even when it… on the relative stage, on the samsaric stage, it’s actually not okay. Some deep a part of you remains to be cool with even the best way you’re freaking out proper now. In order that’s equanimity, proper? It doesn’t imply that you just at all times really feel peaceable and your thoughts is at all times stuffed with stunning ideas. Equanimity is when even when your thoughts is stuffed with chaos and rage and despair and your feelings are everywhere, this deep a part of you remains to be okay, proper? That’s actual equanimity and that’s what we’re gonna work on.

Meditation

So let’s arrange our meditation and naturally as ordinary we’re going to start out with some focus stuff; some samadhi observe, some shamatha observe. However, I would like you to think about it as simply type of settling the waters, we’re getting within the groove, we’re letting every thing type of–I don’t like translating shamatha as focus anyway–I like translating it as, you already know, accumulating collectively, as gathering, as integrating, as grounding, like that. 

So sit in your meditation posture and, I haven’t mentioned this in a very long time, so I’ll simply remind you that in this hour-long meditation I would like you to be nonetheless. Don’t transfer, don’t transfer your physique, be actually, actually nonetheless. You’ll see me consuming my tea and so forth and that’s as a result of I’ve to speak and I’ve to work with a pc so I’m shifting somewhat bit, however after I meditate I don’t transfer in any respect and I would like you to additionally study to take a seat nonetheless for an hour, okay? 

So bear in mind, we’re getting in a posture the place we really feel good, we will lay on our backs so long as your decrease again is flat on the ground along with your knees up, or if you happen to’re sitting you need your knees to be decrease than your hips and so your decrease again has received that good little curve in it and it makes your head pop up. But it surely’s like a type of actually mild, very easy, probably the most easy attainable erect backbone. So simply discover that spot once more, it’s a lot simpler along with your knees decrease than your hips – that spot the place your backbone stays good and upright with simply the minimal effort. You’re not placing in a whole lot of muscle to maintain it upright. In case you are it is going to be actually exhausting to remain within the posture however if you happen to sit correctly you’ll discover your again simply stays upright and it’d type of wiggle like a sapling in a mild breeze, but it surely’s very straightforward to remain upright and it makes the highest of your head – the best spot in your head – type of carry up, your chin tucks somewhat bit.

Your shoulders and arms are completely relaxed, completely relaxed. Often we’re gonna allow them to relaxation in our lap like this [demonstrates Dhyana mudra] however you can even have them in your knees – resting in your thighs both palms down or palms up [demonstrates palms up and down with thumb and index finger touching to form circle] however they’re resting on the thighs. 

You’ll see in clip artwork the place persons are meditating with their elbows on their knees and their fingers up within the air and it seems actually cool for {a photograph} but it surely’s a very dumb approach to meditate, so by no means meditate like that!

Have your fingers resting in your thighs, and so from there I would like you to simply tune in to what it’s wish to be you proper now. Simply test in with your self, every thing that’s happening, every thing you’re feeling, every thing you’re pondering, how your physique feels, how your feelings really feel, simply what’s the overall climate report? And, regardless of the climate report is, I would like you to simply be okay with it. You recognize, like, “okay, that is the climate report proper now, we’re probably not going to alter that.” So simply tune in for a minute, try this for me. 

Okay. Good, now what I would like you to do is simply sit and breathe, you possibly can breathe naturally and usually, don’t change your breath this week however I would like you to meditate now like an ocean. Okay, it’s a giant, huge ocean, very deep. There could also be a lot of waves on the floor however in comparison with how deep that ocean is the waves don’t even hassle it. And so that you’re simply this huge huge ocean, all fluidity, it’s very comfy being the ocean. Keep in mind final week once we did the 5 aspect meditation? Water is comfy, it’s ‘flowey’, it’s fluid, it feels good, it doesn’t resist, proper? So really feel that basically fluid, yummy facet of being this huge, huge, huge ocean but additionally discover that ideas going by, feelings going by – all that are simply rippling waves on the floor of the ocean within the deep, deep, deep water of the ocean. It’s simply very nonetheless and really calm and feels nice, okay? 

So tune into being an ocean and then you definately’re simply noticing the wave of the breath passing on the floor of the ocean and the ocean is simply noticing that breath-wave shifting by it, okay? And that’s how I’m going to have you ever meditate for the following short while right here, so let’s get going with that.

Keep in mind, you’re only a huge ocean. It’s so huge, the ocean is so huge and so deep you possibly can’t even discover the underside, you possibly can’t discover the shore. It’s simply an infinite ocean and the waves are shifting on the very floor of the ocean however the ocean itself is so deep and so huge that the waves don’t disturb it in any manner. And certainly one of these waves is simply the breath-wave coming and going, coming and going and we’re hanging with that breath-wave, we’re noticing it coming and going and I would like you to significantly discover when the in-breath involves an finish, when the out-breath involves an finish. Put somewhat additional consideration on that and simply permit these waves to return and go with out interference, however actually noticing them.

Good, in order that’s just a bit little bit of shamatha to type of collect our energies, to type of gather the thoughts right into a extra secure place, a barely extra secure place. Simply type of like shifting from the common day into our meditation somewhat bit.

And so now persevering with to meditate like an ocean, your huge, huge, huge ocean. There aren’t even any shores anyplace, there’s no backside, it’s only a huge ocean; extremely huge ocean of consciousness. And now what I would like you to meditate on are simply the ripples, not simply the breath however ripples of thought shifting throughout the ocean, ripples of emotion shifting throughout the ocean; the movement of emotion shifting throughout the ocean. And any physique sensations shifting, rippling throughout the ocean – discover that these are actually occurring – they’re shifting throughout the floor, they’re rippling, possibly in numerous instructions and all that., however in comparison with the vastness of this infinite ocean of consciousness they’re fully minor. There’s a lot room for all

this thought, there’s a lot room for all this emotion, there’s all a lot room for all these physique sensations, there’s a lot room for the sound or photographs which can be happening on the planet that basically these ripples don’t hassle this huge ocean in any respect. It’s like a drop in a bucket, it simply doesn’t disturb the deep peace of this ocean of consciousness.

Okay, so I would like you to simply really concentrate on the ripples, concentrate on the pondering with out attempting to alter it, with out getting concerned in it however actually noticing it occurring. Give attention to the feelings which can be shifting by the physique, concentrate on the sensations. In different phrases, every thing that’s arising, you’re taking note of it, you’re not ignoring it or pretending it’s not there. You’re not attempting to alter it, you’re not attempting to manage it however neither are you uninvolved – you’re really paying consideration. This ocean of consciousness is conscious so it’s conscious of those ripples however I would like you to note that they’re identical to wind within the sky, they’re simply ripples shifting by an unlimited infinite ocean and so they don’t disturb the deep peace of the deep ocean in any respect

So tune into that now. 

These ideas, these feelings, these physique sensations, the sounds and sights of the world and every thing else – smells, no matter, tastes – they’re all simply these ripples on the floor of this huge ocean of consciousness and they don’t hassle it in any manner. They don’t have to be modified, they don’t have to be managed, they’re totally stunning easy arisings that go over the floor of the ocean and don’t disturb the deep ocean in any manner.

What sort of observe is that this? That is vacancy observe, proper? It’s simply one other manner of doing it. So that is vacancy observe, we’re not ignoring the waves, we’re totally conscious of the ideas, totally conscious of the sentiments, totally conscious of the arising of every thing and but on the similar time we discover that it’s totally, totally not disturbing the deep peace of consciousness and on the similar time it’s not totally different than consciousness, proper? So simply let these ripples transfer throughout the ocean of consciousness and we’re very conscious of every ripple and but noticing that it doesn’t disturb the peace in any manner. 

Okay good, now remaining as a huge ocean of consciousness, boundless ocean of consciousness. There’s no shore, there’s no backside, it’s simply an infinite ocean of consciousness; ‘flowey’, comfy, relaxed, undisturbed by something. 

Now let go of the vipashyana observe, the vacancy observe, and as an alternative simply relaxation because the ocean. The waves are nonetheless there, there’s nonetheless ideas, there’s nonetheless emotions. There’s nonetheless – the entire world is arising in consciousness – after all, however we’re not partaking with any of it. 

Simply present the notice to itself, let consciousness concentrate on consciousness – that’s it – and see that it’s easy as a result of consciousness is already conscious. 

So, in different phrases, we’re doing dropping the ball. So anytime you get entangled with one of many ripples on the floor of the ocean you simply let go and sink again into the deep ocean which is totally awake, totally conscious, totally relaxed; boundless, huge awakeness with none effort. Every time you get entangled simply let go and are available again to resting because the ocean of consciousness with none effort. 

If there’s any sense that one thing, you already know, huge goes to occur right here otherwise you’re ready for one thing to occur, let go of that solely. That is great, that is consciousness resting as consciousness, that is resting within the true state, proper? Simply consciousness conscious of itself, totally undisturbed and uninvolved. With any ripples, any ideas which can be arising, you’re simply not partaking them in any respect. Any emotions which can be arising, not partaking them in any respect. They’re nonetheless there, they’re ripples on the ocean, however that is the deep ocean simply conscious of itself. 

Now you would possibly discover your ideas getting actually confused or you could even really feel like ripples or waves of confusion are on the ocean, that’s okay. The water of the deep ocean of consciousness is at all times completely clear. If the ideas get jumbled or confused, that’s effective, it doesn’t make consciousness confused. Otherwise you would possibly really feel waves of, like, fatigue. You would possibly all of a sudden really feel such as you’re drifting or falling asleep, these are simply waves on the ocean. Consciousness itself, the notice of the deep ocean is vivid and clear and awake; vivid and clear and awake.  So the ripples of fatigue are simply… once more, these are physique sensations and so forth, they’re not something we’re concerned with. So that you would possibly really feel confusion otherwise you would possibly really feel fatigued, you would possibly really feel bored like waves of boredom, you already know, like “when’s this going to finish?” Once more, that’s all simply ripples. The huge ocean of consciousness is obvious and vivid and undisturbed and it feels so good to simply relaxation in itself. It simply rests in itself, conscious of itself, by itself. Anytime it begins to get entangled with ideas or emotions it simply relaxes again into being this huge, boundless ocean.

Discover that even the sense of doing a meditation is only a ripple on the floor of this infinite ocean of consciousness that isn’t disturbed by something.  Even the sense of being someone doing one thing is only a ripple on the ocean that doesn’t disturb the ocean in any manner. Even the sense that one thing’s speculated to occur, or something like that, it’s all simply vanishing ripples on the floor of the ocean. The deep, deep boundless waters of the ocean of consciousness will not be disturbed by that in any manner. They’re completely nonetheless, completely clear, completely vivid and awake with none disturbance of any type. The waves come and go and the ocean just isn’t disturbed. 

The huge ocean of consciousness doesn’t come and go. The huge ocean of consciousness just isn’t one thing you possibly can create or toughen or larger or clearer, it’s at all times been there, it’ll at all times be there. The huge ocean of consciousness is vivid and clear underneath all situations and it’s not bothered by something. That is the which means of equanimity, the huge notion of consciousness is peace, is stillness, is equanimity. Even with all of the ripples on the floor it’s not disturbed.

For thus lengthy you’ve thought you’re the ideas and emotions of the ripples on the floor, however if you happen to’re something in any respect you might be this deep ocean of consciousness that may be conscious of these ripples typically however proper now’s simply conscious of its nature as peace and stillness and wakefulness, undisturbed by something. 

Now, this huge ocean of consciousness merely resting in itself, conscious of itself. From this place we’re going to shift, and we’re going to shift into feeling pleasure for all beings all over the place, feeling love for all beings all over the place, feeling large kindness in the direction of all beings all over the place and streaming that out – this ocean goes all over the place. 

So enormous waves of affection and pleasure and needs for well being and energy, all rippling out, rippling out, rippling out, rippling out to all beings all over the place!  A sense of large vitality and vitality rippling out in the direction of all beings all over the place. A sense of friendliness and togetherness and belonging and sibling-hood, brotherhood and sisterhood and being-hood rippling out to all beings all over the place.  

Large pleasure, large kindness, large well being and therapeutic. Large sense of belonging and friendliness and friendship and together-hood, rippling out in the direction of all beings all over the place. Actually really feel that basically strongly, spreading out in all instructions, reaching all beings all over the place within the multiverse. 

Okay? Good now let’s finish this session of meditation.

Dharma Speak

Permitting your physique to maneuver finally after an hour. Permitting your self to maneuver and stretch and permit your physique to really feel good. You possibly can wiggle your fingers and toes, wiggle your ears, no matter is enjoyable and amusing so that you can get that physique shifting once more. Permitting your physique to really feel good, have a drink of water or no matter. 

However after all, the huge ocean of consciousness doesn’t change, it was not one thing you had been creating with the meditation, it’s not one thing that you just domesticate, it’s not one thing that you just make occur. It’s at all times there, it’s what you might be, it’s your nature. And so even once we cease the meditation observe, it’s nonetheless there. The huge ocean of consciousness that’s undisturbed by something is at all times there. Now, once we’re extremely recognized as ideas and emotions, as feelings, my treasured feelings, my essential feelings, my feelings, my feelings; how I react to every thing is so delicate and so essential. Once we’re extremely, extremely recognized with that we get actually caught up and we get tight and we get knocked round. 

It’s like we’re somewhat bobber, proper? You recognize what a bobber is? Like if you happen to’ve been fishing—a fishing bobber or like a cork—you’re only a cork being whipped round on the waves. 

Similar factor if you happen to’re all caught up in your ideas, “oh, every thing is simply my thoughts, I’m simply my ideas. If I’m having unhealthy ideas I’m so recognized with these and so they’re so actual and concrete that I am unhealthy ideas.” 

From having nice ideas, “oh, that is the very best factor on the planet, now I’m nice ideas. Oh, I would like to hold onto that.” 

Once more, you’re only a cork or a bobber being whipped round on these waves. And you are able to do this as a result of the waves will not be separate from the ocean. Consciousness is one way or the other not totally different than thought, totally different than emotion. Ideas and feelings are product of consciousness, proper? So you possibly can zero in on these and faux that that’s who or what you might be. And that’s what we’re skilled to do all through the course of our lives and so we’re type of skilled into being whipped round on these waves. 

However for each minute of our life, each second you’re alive, what’s actually there may be this infinite huge ocean of consciousness which is, after all, empty. 

Identical to every thing else, it’s not a factor, that is simply a picture. However consciousness, this huge ocean of consciousness is at all times there and if you let go of being recognized with these ideas and tightly gripped onto them, and so they’re so actual and so essential, and also you let go of being tightly gripped within the feelings and hanging on to them and also you’re attempting to govern and management them, “I wish to really feel these good feelings and that i don’t wish to really feel these unhealthy feelings.” If you’re caught up like that, once we’re caught in these ideas and emotions we get knocked round, proper? It’s the alternative of equanimity, the ups and downs are tremendous intense and actually essential and we’re at all times struggling in opposition to them and it’s at all times an issue. 

However the fact is, once more, what – if we’re something in any respect, proper? We’re additionally this huge ocean of consciousness that’s by no means disturbed by something. There’s no want to manage or deny or suppress the pondering, and even make it good. There’s no want to manage or deny or suppress the feelings or to attempt to solely have good feelings. None of that’s essential as a result of the huge ocean of consciousness is completely effective with no matter arises, it’s completely accepting with no matter arises, it’s completely undisturbed with no matter arises, it can’t be bothered by something that arises. It’s not like you possibly can have a thought that’s so unhealthy it’ll simply evaporate the ocean. It’s not like you possibly can have an emotion that’s so unhealthy it could actually freeze the entire ocean. Plainly manner if you happen to’re actually tightly hooked into these ideas and emotions however that’s not what actually occurs; the huge ocean of consciousness stays vivid and clear and awake and undisturbed by something it doesn’t matter what.  

So once more, even when the ideas and emotions are tremendous disturbed, so it’s not one way or the other like attempting to make it so – you already know the type of – I don’t know, I’ll simply use this actually ‘judgy’ phrase, okay? I’m gonna be actually judgmental and say the actually immature mind-set about your non secular practices, “oh, after I get good at this meditation I’ll be even by every thing and this evenness by, you already know, every thing will likely be cool and nothing will disturb me.” However what we imply by that, in an immature manner, is my ideas and emotions will stay undisturbed, proper? The ideas and emotions that I feel I’m will likely be easy crusing… However that’s not what it’s like in any respect. That’s not what’s and if it’s beginning to get that manner – positive okay your ideas and emotions are somewhat smoother effective – however if you happen to want them to be easy like that your observe goes backwards, you’re simply getting extra inflexible and extra caught in thought and feeling and attempting to manage it and make it easy. “Oh yeah, when actually unhealthy issues occur which can be horrible I’m simply easy, my ideas and emotions are easy. When actually great issues occur, oh, my ideas and emotions are simply easy.” That’s referred to as being lifeless, proper? Or being checked out, being numb, being dissociated. Being… You recognize, that may occur, typically somewhat bit, but when that’s your regular state – you might be totally misplaced, okay? That’s, that’s not what we’re doing right here. That may be a very immature view of observe. I’m utilizing a ‘judgy’ phrase – take care of it.

The mature view is kind of totally different, it’s that ideas and emotions could be as loud as they need, they are often as upset as they need, they are often as offended or stuffed with despair, so unhappy, or as fearful as they need or ideas could be actually darkish or actually terrible. Or all of these issues could be great, you could be stuffed with pleasure and happiness. And regardless of. That doesn’t have an effect on this consciousness by which all these issues are occurring, it doesn’t have an effect on it in any respect. 

Now that’s, that’s a really totally different view. That may be a very totally different view, okay? And also you say, “Effectively, how do I discover this consciousness?” Effectively, how have you learnt you’re having a thought proper now? One thing’s – I imply it’s not a factor – however one thing’s conscious of the pondering. Discover I mentioned, conscious. One thing’s conscious of the pondering, that consciousness is the notice. How have you learnt you’re having a giant emotion or any emotion? Effectively, you already know you’re having an emotion since you’re conscious of it, that’s the notice. 

Consciousness is occurring on a regular basis, that’s how you already know you’re alive, that’s how you already know you’re having a thought, that’s how you already know you’re having a sense. So get this, the ideas are altering on a regular basis however you’re constantly conscious of them, the notice is at all times there. The sentiments are altering on a regular basis however you’re constantly conscious of them. The notice is at all times there. You’re shifting your head all over the world, the imaginative and prescient of the world is altering on a regular basis however the consciousness is at all times there. Sounds are coming in your ears on a regular basis and so they’re at all times totally different, but the notice is at all times there. It’s unattainable to cease being conscious. 

Okay, the notice is at all times there. There could also be sure particular states by which consciousness blips out for durations of time however even then I might contend that there’s a deep, deep, deep consciousness of what’s happening. 

The notice is at all times current, so in different phrases ideas and emotions on the planet will at all times change, they are often huge and small and we’re not attempting to alter that. Fairly, we’re simply resting on this vivid, clear—I’m completely nonetheless—consciousness that’s the foundation of every thing, proper? It’s not separate than ideas and emotions however somewhat it’s the floor out of which ideas and emotions come up. Identical to ideas come out of the waves, come out of the ocean. And it’s additionally the bottom to which ideas and emotions return, identical to waves return into being the ocean, okay?

So the best way I’m speaking about this you can begin to really feel like consciousness is a factor and I’m calling it an ocean and an ocean is a factor. However, consciousness itself just isn’t a factor and so don’t make it right into a factor, like “oh I’m over right here that factor referred to as consciousness.” Don’t try this. Consciousness is conscious of itself by itself, it doesn’t want somebody to face outdoors it and faux to take a look at it. Who’s doing the wanting? Consciousness is doing the wanting. In order that complete transfer of standing outdoors it and really feel such as you’re consciousness? That’s not it. Don’t make it right into a factor, it’s not a factor. It’s simply conscious, okay? 

So that is the equanimity I’m speaking about and this equanimity is already there – I’m going to sneeze dangle on. Am I going to sneeze? It’s virtually there, it’s virtually there. Perhaps not, I’ll put the… oh possibly, oh I can’t inform. Effectively, that occurs, it occurs. I misplaced my prepare of thought… the prepare of thought is that – the notice, the equanimity is at all times there. 

The equanimity is the premise of your being. And so we’re not one way or the other cultivating this stillness or constructing equanimity like we’re increase cash in a checking account or one thing. The equanimity is infinite and it’s already there. And also you simply calm down, you simply return, you simply acknowledge this consciousness and this equanimity that’s already current. And when you acknowledge it, you simply relaxation. That’s it. Acknowledge the notice that’s already there and relaxation. Acknowledge the equanimity that’s already there and relaxation and if you happen to get caught up within the waves, simply the minute you discover that, acknowledge and simply come again to being the ocean of equanimity that’s at all times there and simply relaxation. The waves do themselves, thought and emotions do themselves, taking motion on the planet does itself. It does itself, consciousness merely notices, with none effort.

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