As a very long time supporter of Wildmind and its work I’ve been studying this correspondence with curiosity, but additionally with some disquiet on the underlying assumption of a dichotomy between on-line studying and a ‘actual instructor’ – a dichotomy that isn’t borne out by my very own expertise of studying meditation with Wildmind.
While I’ve been placing my response collectively, Karla, too, has posted her personal story, and I’ve discovered it heart-warming to understand so many echoes of my very own meditation journey, regardless that our lives are in all probability very completely different. So I’ve edited my contribution to the dialogue a little bit to focus extra particularly on my expertise of regarding a ‘digital instructor’. Karla, it’s good to know you!
The Wildmind programs had been my first introduction to meditation. I had been drawn to contemplative apply of some variety for a while, however had solely come throughout it in a Christian context which I discovered it unattainable to ‘personal’, so once I unintentionally got here throughout Jack Kornfield’s ‘A Path With Coronary heart’ I used to be seized with enthusiasm and began to learn all the things I may lay my fingers on. I used to be notably drawn to the Kornfield/Goldstein model of Vipassana and Charlotte Joko Beck’s model of Zen and needed to discover a centre close to me, however additional investigation revealed such a plethora of various faculties and completely different traditions that I didn’t know the place to start out.
So once I got here throughout the Wildmind web site it appeared like a great way of getting began with out having to commit myself to something specifically, which I didn’t really feel able to do. And as quickly as I began on the primary course I knew that Wildmind wasn’t merely the equal of a CD with just a few additional frills. There was actual educating and actual studying in our encounter.
Bodhipaksa’s enter was essential to my optimistic expertise – he was very supportive in his responses to my journal, and had the knack of constructing these responses private (although I think about that many individuals’s early experiences and questions have a certain quantity in frequent). It was attention-grabbing to watch myself feeling that we had been turning into mates regardless that I had no precise proof that he was an actual individual – he might need been a sixty-year previous girl, or perhaps a workforce, as folks usually suspect agony aunties of being!
I did discover myself relying rather a lot on our correspondence, and making a type of digital ‘guru’ out of how I imagined him to be. This was a very simple sample to fall into since in fact I by no means really noticed him regarding anybody else. I used to be conscious that I used to be doing this, and it was a helpful method to observe projections, plus the necessity to put my experiences into writing was a really helpful manner of serving to me gather my ideas and was usually a spur to additional reflection, so the digital nature of the connection was useful to me in a number of methods.
Nonetheless I did very quickly get to really feel the necessity to discover a actual 3D sangha, and I used to be delighted to seek out one solely ten minutes from my house within the UK: Amaravati Buddhist Monastery, a Thai Forest monastery within the custom of Ajahn Chah, and residential to the well-respected Ajahn Sumedho, I joined the lay group there and have now been carefully concerned with them for over 5 years.
However I stored up an everyday correspondence with Bodhipaksa by way of the journnal for a minimum of a yr to 18 months after I began coming recurrently to Amaravati and I continued to seek out the private contact a really helpful help as I used to be discovering my toes. I’ve little question that it contributed to the convenience with which I used to be in a position to develop an everyday apply – the self-discipline of preserving a journal was a superb framework – and I used to be conscious that I used to be persevering with to understand the person help which isn’t so clearly a part of the sample at Amaravati. Throughout this time the connection regularly developed into extra of a non secular friendship than a teacher-pupil one, and this too was explicitly negotiated – very attention-grabbing, and the one time in my life I’ve ever mirrored so consciously and intentionally on the character of a relationship.
So there you’ve it – I’ve had private expertise of on-line studying and a relationship with a digital instructor, and in addition of a deepening reference to a well-established Theravada Buddhist group. I’ve developed mutually supportive relationships there with monastics and lay folks alike. Each the digital relationship and the face-to-face ones have been, and proceed to be, of inestimable worth to me on the trail, and I see no dichotomy right here, solely a wealthy selection which I treasure and for which I really feel deep gratitude.
With metta
Alison
