Have you ever ever seen that typically the only issues can journey you up essentially the most? One minute you are feeling such as you’re rocking it, then unexpectedly, out of nowhere, one thing derails you and sends you spiraling backwards?
Why is that?
Imagine it or not, usually it comes all the way down to our WORDS—actually our self speak, and the issues that we are saying to ourselves.
As a result of let me let you know, the older I get, the extra I notice simply how a lot the phrases we use and the best way we speak to ourselves even have a profound influence on our beliefs and our mindset, and our beliefs and mindset are what finally shapes our actions—the issues we do and the alternatives we make—which in flip shapes our outcomes.
So, to place it in quite simple phrases, in case you’re utilizing the fallacious phrases, you’ll get the fallacious outcomes.
And I can let you know that is one thing that’s true for me too. Whilst a purpose setting junkie who’s been working alone private improvement for years, I nonetheless battle with this on a regular basis. It’s a continuing battle to be intentional with my phrases and with my ideas, and never allow them to slip again into outdated patterns and outdated methods of pondering that haven’t served me prior to now.
And it’s been a superb reminder for me that that is one thing that we ALL want to pay attention to and to work on, just about ALL the time.
As a result of truthfully, it’s not all the time straightforward. Typically it seems like our brains are simply hardwired to concentrate on the unfavourable and to search for the issues. We’re hardwired for self-protection and self-preservation, and typically which means we’re continually searching for what’s going fallacious, or what’s going to go fallacious, or what might go fallacious.
And so we are saying issues to ourselves like “I’ll by no means have the ability to do it” or “it’s simply too onerous” or “I’m all the time going to be this fashion” or “I’ve all the time struggled with this” or “I simply don’t have the willpower” or “it’s simply not meant to be” or “I’m simply too busy” or “I don’t find the money for” or “I’m not sturdy sufficient” or “I’m not ok.”
And whereas it might appear to be these are simply phrases, they’re really extremely highly effective, as a result of each time we are saying one thing like that, we’re reinforcing a perception, not solely in our acutely aware thoughts, but additionally in our unconscious thoughts, which is the place our actions finally stem from.
And it’s these actions—or lack of motion—that may all the time decide our outcomes.
However what in case you might change that? What in case you might change your phrases and alter your outcomes? What in case you might begin to be extra intentional together with your language and together with your self-talk, and reprogram your unconscious thoughts to BELIEVE which you could obtain your targets?
Truthfully, that may be fairly highly effective, proper?
And the excellent news is that it’s really potential. However step one is all the time consciousness. You need to first acknowledge the phrases and phrases which might be holding you again so as to change them.
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The three most harmful phrases in your vocabulary
So, let’s begin by speaking concerning the three most harmful phrases in your vocabulary, no less than on the subject of shedding weight and getting wholesome. I’ll wager you’re in all probability utilizing these phrases on a regular basis with out even realizing it. The truth is, I just about assure it, as a result of it’s one thing nearly everybody says, and it’s one thing that’s turn into so widespread in our tradition that we don’t even actually cease to consider it.
And people three phrases are “I don’t have.”
Let that sink in for only a minute. “I don’t have.”
Have you ever ever mentioned that earlier than? I’m guessing that you simply in all probability have. Possibly you’ve mentioned it out loud, however even in case you haven’t, I’m guessing that you simply’ve in all probability mentioned it to your self in your individual head.
“I don’t have sufficient time.”
“I don’t find the money for.”
“I don’t have sufficient willpower.”
“I don’t have sufficient vitality.”
“I don’t have the best genetics.”
“I don’t have a supportive partner.”
“I don’t have a superb metabolism.”
“I don’t have the best sources.”
“I don’t have the flexibility to cook dinner wholesome meals.”
“I don’t have the best health club gear.”
“I don’t have a health club membership.”
“I don’t have the best instruments.”
“I don’t have the best surroundings.”
“I don’t have the best training.”
“I don’t have the best help system.”
“I don’t have a superb plan.”
“I don’t have the flexibility to remain on monitor.”
The checklist goes on and on and on and on. And whereas all of these items could FEEL true, the fact is that they’re merely not true. The truth is, they’re all simply excuses.
None of these issues are literally true. However they FEEL true, as a result of they’re the phrases you’ve been utilizing to explain your scenario for thus lengthy. They’re the phrases you retain telling your self again and again. They’re the phrases which have turn into so ingrained in your thoughts and in your perception system that you simply don’t even notice you’re saying them anymore.
And people phrases—”I don’t have”—are extremely harmful, as a result of they’re extremely dis-empowering.
They take away your energy to vary, as a result of they make you imagine that you simply’re caught and that you don’t have any management over your circumstances.
And the reality is that, when you could not have the ability to instantly change each single circumstance in your life, you ALWAYS have a alternative in the way you reply to these circumstances.
You may both select to maintain telling your self what you don’t have, and preserve getting the identical outcomes. Or you may select to begin telling your self a distinct story, and truly get totally different outcomes.
So the query is, in case you’re utilizing the phrases “I don’t have” after which following it with some form of excuse, what are you actually selecting for your self? And is that the selection you need to make?
The ability of reframing
However what in case you might make a distinct alternative? What in case you might change your phrases, and alter your consequence? What in case you might begin to re-frame your excuses and switch them into one thing empowering?
Properly, you may. And it begins by altering only one phrase. As an alternative of claiming “I don’t have” you can begin saying “I received’t.”
“I received’t make time.”
“I received’t make investments the cash.”
“I received’t prioritize my well being.”
“I received’t change my habits.”
“I received’t get off the sofa.”
“I received’t cook dinner wholesome meals.”
“I received’t care for myself.”
“I received’t get assist.”
“I received’t stop the sugar.”
“I received’t do the work.”
As a result of that’s the reality, proper? You’re not really doing these issues. You’re selecting to not do them. And once more, that’s a alternative you get to make. However no less than whenever you begin to acknowledge it as a alternative, you can begin to ask your self some necessary questions.
Questions like “why am I selecting this?” and “is that this actually what I would like?” and “what would occur if I selected otherwise?” and “what do I stand to achieve, and what do I stand to lose?”
And people are actually highly effective questions, as a result of they power you to take an extended onerous have a look at what you’re actually saying to your self and the tales you’ve been telling your self for thus lengthy.
And I believe you’ll be stunned at what you discover. I believe you’ll notice that loads of these excuses that begin with “I don’t have” are actually simply concern in disguise. Concern of the unknown. Concern of change. Concern of failure. Concern of success. Concern of what different individuals will assume. Concern of the trouble required. Concern of dropping the consolation and safety of your present scenario.
And that’s okay. Concern is a really regular emotion, and it’s one thing that all of us should take care of. However you don’t should let it maintain you again.
When you notice that every one of these “I don’t have” statements are only a alternative, you can begin to make a brand new alternative. You can begin to decide on to acknowledge your concern, after which take motion regardless of it. You may select to be courageous. You may select to imagine in your self. You may select to take small steps ahead, even in case you’re not 100% certain of the result.
And that’s the place the true magic occurs—whenever you begin to take motion primarily based on the brand new selections you’re making for your self. As a result of each time you’re taking motion, irrespective of how small, it adjustments your momentum. It propels you ahead. It offers you vitality and confidence to maintain going. It permits you to begin reaping the rewards of your new selections.
And all of it begins with the easy act of fixing your phrases.
Methods to change your phrases and alter your outcomes
So, now that we’re conscious of those three little phrases which have such a big effect on our potential to succeed—”I don’t have”—and now that we’ve talked about how harmful and dis-empowering they are often, it’s in all probability value taking a couple of minutes to speak about what to do subsequent.
In spite of everything, consciousness is barely step one. When you’re conscious of what you’re really saying to your self and the best way these phrases are impacting your mindset, you can begin to be extra intentional in selecting totally different phrases.
So, how do you do this?
Properly, truthfully, it’s so simple as recognizing whenever you’re utilizing these three little phrases after which making a acutely aware choice to decide on totally different phrases.
For instance, let’s say you catch your self saying “I don’t have sufficient time.” As an alternative of claiming that, you could possibly say “this isn’t a precedence for me proper now.”
Or as a substitute of claiming “I don’t find the money for.” You may say “I’m selecting to spend my cash on different issues proper now.”
Or as a substitute of claiming “I don’t have the best sources.” You may say “I haven’t discovered the best sources but.”
Or as a substitute of claiming “I don’t have the best help system.” You may say “I’m selecting to not hunt down a help system.”
And that may really feel a little bit bit uncomfortable at first, as a result of it forces you to take possession over your individual selections. However I promise you that it’s much more empowering than persevering with to inform your self the identical outdated story.
And each time you catch your self utilizing these three little phrases and select to re-frame your assertion, you take again management. You’re selecting your individual path. You’re telling your self a brand new story.
And that, my buddy, is the place actual change occurs.
